For those of you with queasy stomachs, I advise you to stop reading after the first paragraph.
For those of you who find enjoyment in the misfortune of others, this one’s for you.
So my first couple days at site started off amazing. I got here on Sunday afternoon and had time to buy my mattress and get my room completely organized and get myself ready to live here for the next two years. Afterward I talked to my host parents and found out they were going to take me to the school the next morning to meet the director and the other teachers as well as the student body. I got up early Monday morning and got myself ready for all Spanish all the time. At breakfast my host dad informed me that every Monday was the “formation,” where all the kids stand in lines on the cancha (cement soccer field/volleyball court) and are addressed by the director, which is what they call principals here. My mom and I get to the school and look for the director first thing but he is nowhere to be found so my mom takes me on stage anyway. The director appears out of the crowd and starts talking on the microphone and I hear him start to talk about me. Next thing I know he turns around and hands me the microphone. So there I am standing in front of the entire school with a chance to make my first impression, and the first thing I do is thank the director by calling him a girl (“gracias directora“). However other than that the day went extremely well and they invited me to start having charlas (sessions/classes) the next day about leadership. We are supposed to mainly work on our diagnostic for the first three months but we are also allowed to have other side projects so I said yes. Tuesday then I taught my first official class in Spanish, and although I struggled a little bit the kids were pretty receptive and I think some of them got something out of it. I was then supposed to start repeating this charla with all the other classes but I couldn’t quite make it on Wednesday.
Those of you who having been following know that I have struggled a great deal with illness here in Peru. I was hoping that at site things would start to change, but as you may have guessed by now they haven’t quite yet. Tuesday night going to bed I was feeling a little ill, but not too bad, just the normal warning signs that diarrhea was coming back for round 4 (or 5 I can’t quite remember now). Anyway I went to sleep and woke up around 1 feeling like death itself was in the bed with me and not sure which end was going to erupt first. I made it to the bathroom to find my old friend bicicleta (that is the slang term they use for diarrhea but it actually means bicycle). I went back to bed and woke up again around 4 and had to go back for a second tour. However this time upon my return I found myself sitting in bed wondering if I shouldn’t run back. I started to feel better so I laid down… (here comes the good part)
No sooner had I laid down then I knew I was going to throw up. It felt like it was at least somewhat in the distance though so I thought I would have some time, my first mistake. With confidence I got up and left my trash bag on the floor heading for the toilet which I thought was a for sure reachable goal. However as soon as I set foot outside of my room I felt it coming with unstoppable force and took off for the bathroom which was just around the corner. I was holding my breath with everything I had in hopes that I could still do it but as soon as I stepped into the bathroom door it was too much. I projectiled all over everything in site (the wall, the fake flowers, the mirror, the stool, the hand towel, the water bucket, and oh yeah the stool cover that my host mom hand knitted). And as if that weren’t enough I jumped over my mess in the middle of the floor just to make it to the toilet without time to pick the seat up and needless to say destroying that as well.
So here I am sitting next to the toilet, admiring the range of what I had managed to ruin, realizing that I now have to find something to clean all this up. I gather myself together and find my flashlight and go searching through the house for a mop or something that can help me, having to stop in the downstairs bathroom (thank God they have two) and finding nothing but a broom and a stick. There’s no way I can clean this with a broom so I take my stash of TP and go to town. An hour and a roll later I am sitting by the toilet again, throwing up more and trying to pick all the chunks out of the flowers. At this point I think I may just pass out in the bathroom (definitely would’ve been the better choice) but I manage to rinse the hand towel and the stool cover in the sink first and least just leave them with stains.
From here I drag myself back to bed and pass out for the remaining hour before my host family gets up and I get to try to explain what happened. The next thing I know I am waking up slightly before my alarm to discover that my subconscious mind really didn’t want to be a part of that silly pool anyway, yep that’s right I not only pooped my pants but the bed as well. I couldn’t decide what was more disappointing literally dropping out of the pool or the fact that I just added to the list of things I now have to try to take up to the roof and hand wash.
And so friends there you have it the thing that so many have waited for has finally arrived. That was my second full day at my site but I have survived and only left stains on the wall, the towel, and of course the stool cover. And for those of you looking for the moral to this story, here are some of things I’ve learned during my long, lonely nights on the porcelain throne;
1) Thank God there I have that throne, my heart goes out to all those other volunteers fighting this fight without only a latrine
2) There are more than 30 levels on jewel thief on our phones, none of which are that much fun
3) It really doesn’t matter if you eat or not, it’s still coming
4) Always take some form of TP with you even if it’s your own house
5) and finally never take for granted having water at all times of the day, because when you don’t you’re always leaving something behind for the next visitor, which unfortunately usually happens to be myself!
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